My sister, who is older than I am, and I haven't always got along. Honestly, there have been lots of times we haven't. If I were being completely honest I think I get frustrated and upset with her more frequently than she does with me, too. I'm not saying I don't love her but the differences in our personalities sometimes feel about as good as a cheese grater across my face. I've been annoyed with her today. She probably knows it, knowing her she forgives me because on some level she knows that I'm stressed out. She mentioned that being at the hospital would be easier, after I told her what my Granny had said last night about dying, and I nearly came out of my chair. She's upset too though. Her mom is also currently in her third surgery in a week which is expected to last around 6 hours. I'm currently avoiding her in an attempt to cool off and stay friendly.
Today they're trying to fix her shoulder. There is a serious, complex fracture as well as the joint is dislocated. The orthopedic surgeon isn't sure if he will have to partially replace her joint or not. If that goes well they'll also be repairing the compound, very complex fracture of her elbow. Let's hope they're able to safely do both today.
The anesthesia nurses again wheeling my mom back for surgery.
If today goes well they'll be attempting to get her extubated tomorrow. That's an entire other fiasco. She's incredibly agitated everytime her sedation gets light but who wouldn't? She's lost an entire week of time, she has to be in extreme amounts of pain, and she's probably terrified. I just hope she is able to breathe on her own. I hope that my mother is still somewhere in that body when she's able to be conscious.
After they took her to surgery (as I write this that was 2 hours ago) we headed off for lunch. We ate at Five Guys, which happens to be one of my husband's favorite places. I miss him so much. Through my depression after Jackson he's been my rock and now he's 700+ miles away. Working, so we can still pay our bills. I feel like I'm never going to see home again.
Yep, another food pic, what can I say? This is all an elaborate method of coping.
Russ and I spoke on the phone for awhile but we are both stressed and lonely. To say we got into a fight wouldn't be accurate, we just weren't being very nice so we decided to get off the phone. We are a couple that works out our differences physically (and I don't mean domestic violence, but it's definitely not PG either) so being so far away is very straining on us. I haven't decided what to do while her surgery is still in progress but I think my lack of sleep may be my biggest issue currently. Maybe I'll try to take a nap in the waiting room again. After yesterday leaving the hospital while my mom is in her room feels daunting and impossible so I know I'll be staying again tonight.
This is a big teaching hospital so every morning and evening the ward doctor walks around with all of his residents and they discuss every patient in detail, bouncing ideas off one another. I call them "baby doctor herds" because you also see them following doctors in the hallway like baby ducks following their mother.
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